Procrastination is a beautiful thing.
Maybe it's writer's block or maybe it's that science classes leech me of the will to live, but I haven't been able to write here very much lately. I just don't have much to say. There isn't too much going on.
The only event in my life now is school. I go to class all day, and then when I'm done, I do homework for a good chunk of the night. I work like the hounds of hell are after me, and yet I still feel that I'm falling behind. It's a bit maddening. I often wonder why I even bother, especially since I'm in a major I hate and don't plan to use. But even in the classes I do enjoy, the work seems tedious and excessive. I know, I know, I shouldn't complain. College is supposed to be the best (5) years of your life. I'm sure having a real people job is not going to be better. But at the moment, I am feeling overwhelmed and unenthusiastic about this whole academic thing.
I long for a rejuvenation of my creative and artistic energies. My writing is languishing (as you can tell!) and it's been ages since I've painted. The only "creative" thing I've been doing is working on my project for sculpture, which is basically hideous. The human face does not translate well to Plastilina. Especially in the hands of a very amateur sculptor. The professor's harsh criticism doesn't do much for the self esteem either. Some of his comments to various classmates: "It's starting to look like a werewolf." "This has gotten worse since last week." "Well, it's not bad...but it's not good, either." Is it any wonder that I get nervous about going to that class?
Yes, the school work is relentless, but this is what I signed up for, I suppose. The good news is that I will be getting a small break, as I'm going on retreat this weekend. I'm very excited about this because it will give me a chance to think about my life as a whole and not just as a student. And it will be restful. And I may even get a chance to write or draw. It should be good.
