Nail polish.

I love nail polish. I didn't always, though. I don't love it because I have fabulous nails. I don't have nice, pretty nails at all. I don't love it for the smell or the long time it takes to dry. But oh, I love nail polish.

I started collecting nail polish last summer. I needed something mindless to do. Painting my nails became a soothing ritual. First, I'd remove the old stuff: Left toes, right toes. Left fingers, right fingers. Then I'd pick out a new color. I would dump the bag of nail polish bottles onto the floor and spread out all those colors, sorting through until I found the one I felt most attracted to at that particular moment. Then I'd paint it on. Left toes, right toes. Left fingers, right fingers. Once the first layer was on, I needed to wait for it to dry, so I'd lay down on my ugly carpet and wait. If it was daytime, I'd sort of stare at the sunlight streaming into my apartment and think about the state of my life (which, as of last summer, was somewhat hideous). If it was evening, I'd usually have the tv on. CourtTV, most likely, as that's about the only thing I watch. After a little while, I'd get to the next layer. Left toes, right toes. Left fingers, right fingers. And finally, when I was satisfied that I had enough polish on, I'd go about the rest of my business (which, as of last summer, was probably counting exchanges).

I became slightly obsessed with changing the color of my nail polish almost daily. Sometimes, I'd have on nice, subtle colors. Peachy pinks. Non-offensive. But more often than not (and this is still the case), I chose bright, ridiculous colors. Deep blue. Barbie pink. Lime green with sparkles. I just pick the colors I am attracted to. It's art therapy you can wear. Today, that color happens to be a nice, bright blue-green. It reminds me a bit of the color of a mallard duck's head. At CCDthis afternoon, one of my students told me that she liked that I was wearing such a bright color of nail polish. It was cool, she insisted. It distinguished me from "those boring, old people". I'm glad to see I'm still hip with the 9-year-old set.

So for now, the bright green polish stays. Who knows what it will be tomorrow.